Terrible Corporate Videos

By Patrick Campbell

At some point in life, we’ve all failed at something.

Whether it’s an individual flunking an exam, a sports team stinking the joint up, or a government completely misjudging the national mood with an ill-advised policy or initiative (Millennium Dome, anyone?), we have to accept that, in life, failing happens.

We’ve all failed, so when it happens to others, none of us are really in a position to point and laugh – which is why in this blog entry we’re going to do precisely that.

You may remember that in a previous blog post, we highlighted some of our favourite corporate videos and explained why we thought they were awesome.

Well, in this blog post we’re going to do the exact opposite, and show you six corporate videos which we think are Sucky McSuckface (remember that reference?) and laugh at them. We’re nice like that.

Who Needs a Movie?

As if we were going to start with anything else!

This one from ‘Fred and Sharon’s Movies’ is one of our all-time favourite efforts.

Funny. Thought provoking. Innovative. Visually stunning. Powerful. Subtle. Slick.

This video is literally none of those things, which is why we love it so much. Mind you, at the time of writing it has racked up 1.7m views on YouTube, so maybe Fred and Sharon are right and everyone else is barking up the wrong tree.

Wendy’s Training Video (Cold Drinks)

Ah, training videos – a particularly excruciating branch of terrible corporate videos.

This one is for the American fast food chain Wendy’s, which took the brave step of teaching its poor staff how to use its drinks machine by combining cheesy music with an even cheesier rap.

So many bad corporate videos start off lousily. This one somehow manages to get worse as it goes – descending into total farce around the 1:00 – 1:20 mark.

Blockbuster

Another training video now – this time one split into two parts for the defunct video rental company Blockbuster.

To say we have so many questions after watching this one is an understatement. Did Marie get to go on a date with Brian before she got sectioned? If the woman in Part 2 has a $10 spending limit why has she spent over $15? And why is “Buster Sales” SO creepy?

Sadly, we think those – and all the other questions we have – will forever remain unanswered.

Infinite Computers

Bad corporate videos weren’t left behind in the 1990s (sadly).

This one for the Indian company Infinite Computers is from 2012, and is…not great. Don‘t get us wrong, it tries hard, and it borders on having some nice techniques. It’s just let down by terrible execution.

Like the last video, this one just leaves us with questions. Who thought a screenshot of an e-mail (at 1:38) asking for a testimonial quote was a good idea? Why is there a random man smashing it on a drum kit halfway through? AND WHY, FOR GOODNESS SAKE, IS THE MAN AT 3:10 PLAYING SCRABBLE ON HIS OWN?!

This video has some nice ideas. The problem is that they’re all just jumbled together into an almighty hodgepodge which just doesn’t work.

Ecstend Software

We have absolutely nothing to say about this one, except A) Try and watch this in its entirety without falling asleep B) Ecstend Software no longer exists.

(NB – At the time of writing this one cannot be played on external websites such as ours. Click the link to watch it on YouTube!)

GMC

We conclude with pure corporate video cliché.

There’s emotive music. There’s a committed narrator who wants you to enjoy every single syllable he says. There’s words such as “passion”, “performance”, and “perfection”. And there’s footage of a group rowing – the video equivalent of a man standing a foot away from you shouting “YOU HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER AND GO IN THE SAME DIRECTION TO REACH YOUR TARGET” through a megaphone. Who needs subtlety?

In conclusion, we know that creating a corporate video can be difficult – particularly for SMEs with limited budgets. There is, however, no excuse for lazy clichés, muddled messages, and “Buster Sales”.

Know of any terrible corporate videos we’ve missed? If so, why not let us know via our social media channels?*

 

*Please don’t suggest any of ours, you scamps


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